The Soprano XL laser is one of the latest lasers to use a specific wavelength and cooling system to “kill” the hair root and minimise discomfort during the treatment. (£60 to £120, depending on the size of the area, at Tenterden Aesthetic and Laser Clinic, Tel:01580 763679.
Smooth operator: the best ways to keep pins hair free
Summer is here – and the annual female nightmare begins.
Soaring temperatures see us reaching for spaghetti straps and floaty tea dresses at the same time as condemning us to long evenings of bleaching, waxing, shaving and threading, simply to maintain that elusive feminine mystique.
Currently my despair over female depilation has reached such a pitch that I may spend the next three months in 100-denier tights.
Maybe I’m just not like other women because even in the 21st century hair removal is still a delicate subject, one that the closest of friends keep secret from one other.
Of course attitudes to body hair vary between the sexes, different cultures and personal taste. I’d even dared to hope we’d got a bit more grown up. A hint of underarm hair – à la Kate Moss – no problem.
Hollywood’s love affair with the Brazilian wax has been well documented. And who can forget the delicious scandal when Vogue ran a Gucci advert featuring supermodel Carmen Kass pinned against the wall, revealing that shaved-out G logo.
In fact, well-trimmed body hair has become a minor art form. But that doesn’t stop it being bloody painful. Especially if you have (that dread phrase) sensitive skin.
When it comes to the bikini line I’m a woman of simple tastes. I just want a straight line or two. Nothing sculpted, nothing ornate. But, dear God, I can’t go near a razor. As for waxing, I have had my fair share of pain and skin rashes. Never again, I decided.
So, I’ve been badgering friends, relatives and columnists to tell me their secrets. I’ve even considered hijacking the wardrobe mistress at the Royal Ballet for help.
One particularly marvellous beauty journalist I met at a health spa emails me weekly tips. She swears by Philips’ Satinelle Ice Premium Epilator. The trouble is, being a cheapskate, I went for the version without the ice-cooler. Just thinking about putting those shiny teeth near my shin fills me with horror.
It broke a major taboo. In a bad way. For a year, researchers rang up pleading with me to come on their chat shows. I could have spent the rest of my life on freak TV. Even now, when dates Google my name, it’s the first article that springs up.
But I can’t be alone. After all, body hair is the natural birthright of a whole host of raven-haired beauties (yes, I mean you, Catherine Zeta, Nigella and Martine).
But while we’re happy to celebrate raven tresses, Mediterranean colouring and natural brows, no one wants to take on the humble moustache or the wonky bikini line. Ladies, it’s just the flipside of brunette beauty.
So why is everything about hair removal so depressingly shabby and unaesthetic? When I think of the 1970s, I immediately get a great terrible waft of Veet or Immac, those gloopy, messy depilatory creams. This is the 21st century: things must have moved on, I want beauty without cruelty. Then try saporano XL! You will be amazed